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1

You are my mystery,
I can’t tell you what I see
when you gaze at me.

I’m lost in our dialogue,
lapped by our wordlessness.

2

Eyes speak quietly,
exchanging intimacies
yet to be explored.

Desire like electricity,
Lightning flash between our eyes



3

These empty eyes
have seen too much. Once they smiled,
dancing, full of life.

Now they stare from blank faces
white as kabuki make-up.


4

The destructive trance
of war has stunned them, their youth
has been stolen away.

These eyes, still living, able
only to see shades and death.
A response to Eyes, prompt 16 from the list compiled by :iconmiss-deathwish:

The full title of the poem was rejected by dA.
It's called Eyes (Love And War)

The stanzas of the poem are in tanka form
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:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner May 21, 2010  Student Writer
i guess i missed this...an linked it to me. wonderful!
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:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner May 25, 2010
Thank you :heart:

(some guy called Praytell commented on 18th June last!)
Reply
:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner May 25, 2010  Student Writer
:)
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner May 25, 2010
An identity of great minds?
Reply
:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner May 25, 2010  Student Writer
soooomethin like that :) applied for my passport:)
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner May 25, 2010
Great! see you soon!!
Reply
:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner May 25, 2010  Student Writer
indeed :)
Reply
:iconprettycrazy:
PrettyCrazy Featured By Owner May 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Stunning...
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner May 25, 2010
Thank you, An!
Reply
:iconmokyn:
Mokyn Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009
I thought it was amazing. You had so many different ways of talking about eyes, whether the way some people can say a lot without words ("I’m lost in our dialogue,
lapped by our wordlessness." has to be one of the coolest things I have ever read) and then move on to how some people have very flat expressions because they have seen so much.

A very powerful piece, and I must say I loved it a lot.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009
Thank you so much for all those positive comments :bow:
Reply
:iconpiscesandthediamonds:
Piscesandthediamonds Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
great contrast and intensity...and :heart: kabuki reference.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
Thanks very much, Natalie. :heart:
Reply
:iconpraytell:
praytell Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2009
wonderful.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009
Thanks Chris,very much. :D
Reply
:iconsatah:
Satah Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2009
"Now they stare from blank faces
white as kabuki make-up."
i looove those lines.

great contrasts here. it's very silly that dA doesn't allow parenthesis. i'm very bias in this issue, considering that many of my titles have them in...
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2009
Thanks very much, Emily

Perhaps we can start a campaign (in parenthesis)?
Reply
:iconsatah:
Satah Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2009
perfect! i'll throw in some smily faces:

(:
Reply
:iconmistakenmagic:
MistakenMagic Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2009
I really love the contrast between the two and the images in the second are haunting! Well done!

Erin xxx
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:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2009
Thanks very much, Erin :hug:
Reply
:iconwhoapony:
whoapony Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2009
I love eyes. Beings, be they human or otherwise, with expressive eyes really fascinate me. This really speaks to my love of eyes.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2009
I'm very pleased you liked it, Mary.
Reply
:iconwhoapony:
whoapony Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2009
:)
Reply
:iconsynthwrr:
synthwrr Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2009
Fuckaroo. I didn't get it till I found out the real title. Excellent portrayals of each. I enjoy your poetry immensely.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2009
dA's ration on title characters is a nuisance!I convinced that it's also unnecessary. I certainly doesn't help writers to present thier work.

Thank you for your generous comments. I'm very pleased that you like my poems.
Reply
:iconyouinventedme:
YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2009   Writer
The destructive trance
of war has stunned them, their youth
has been stolen away.


excellent
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2009
Thank you, Shane.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2009
Thank you, Shane.
Reply
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2009   Writer
"I’m lost in our dialogue,
lapped by our wordlessness."

wonderful description. "lapped" brings up so many possiblities - such as the current position in a metaphysical race between "dialogue" and "wordlessness".

great work.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2009
Thanks very much, Shane.
Reply
:iconcorvidae65:
Corvidae65 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2009
I like the dual nature of this, Alec. The first is hope, desire and love and the second is depression, despair and death. It's a nice twist to the prompt and I like that you didn't use 'windows to the soul' or something similar in either, but that was the theme of both.

Excellent work! :clap:
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2009
Hello John, thanks for your detailed and appreciative comments, and the :+fav:

I'm pleased you enjoyed the poem
Reply
:iconcorvidae65:
Corvidae65 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2009
You're welcome, Alec :)
Reply
:iconcorvidae65:
Corvidae65 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2009
P.S.--Probably the reason DA rejected your title was because it has parenthesis in it. Rather than using ( ) just use a couple of dashes -- instead and it will post with no problem :thumbsup:
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