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I stood impassively beside
the open grave, as though
I had forgotten who had died,
my face blank as a headstone
that has yet to be inscribed.

There was no more you, nor would
there ever be. Unlooked for solitude
was burying me, unseasonal snow
entombed the pleasure garden
we had planted and shared.

I held the unseemly impulse in check,
that might have thrown my body
to the bottom of the pit where
your corpse was lying neatly boxed.
Instead I dropped in my watch,
useless now that time had stopped.
response to impulse, prompt 18 in the list compiled by :iconmiss-deathwish:
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:iconcorvidae65:
Corvidae65 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
Hello Alec! :wave:

Your wonderful poem has been featured in my journal--->[link]

Have a great week! :)
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010
Thank you, John. I appreciate it. :hug:
Reply
:iconcorvidae65:
Corvidae65 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2010
You're most welcome my friend :manhug:
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:iconprettycrazy:
PrettyCrazy Featured By Owner May 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, my... Haunting in it's sad beauty.

Fourth line, should the capital be there?
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:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner May 25, 2010
Many thanks, An

And for your eagle eye!
Reply
:iconihaveastory:
ihaveastory Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Truly fantastic. The last two lines caught me completely by surprise, yet they fit so perfectly with the rest of the poem, afterwards you feel as if they couldn't exist without each-other. Very well done.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2009
I'm very pleased you liked the poem.

(I felt similarly about those last two lines when I wrote them.)
Reply
:iconmarzguy:
marzguy Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2009
The last stanza is a prize.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2009
Hello Mark, thanks very much for your comment.

Good to hear from you. :D
Reply
:iconmarzguy:
marzguy Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2009
I think time is leaking out of my backpack.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2009
It's certainly leaking out from somewhere!
Reply
:iconsatah:
Satah Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
that last couplet was immediately reminiscent of this poem for me. great rhyme in the first stanza. that one almost stands on itself.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2009
You're right about the Auden echo. You probably remember how much I admire his work.

Thanks for all those generous comments :hug:
Reply
:iconmistakenmagic:
MistakenMagic Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
Oh Alec, this is gorgeous! I'm reading Wilfred Owen at the moment and the imagery is very reminiscent of Owen's style! Love, love, love this!

Erin xxx
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:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
That is a very generous compliment. Thank you very much, Erin.
Reply
:iconcorvidae65:
Corvidae65 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
Love this one, Alec :nod: You've really captured the inner feeling most of us have when someone close to us dies--that hollowed out empty void where reality becomes suddenly surreal.

I like the first and last stanzas best--the middle stanza has nice meter, but the rhyme throws it off for me. The rhyme in the first stanza isn't quite as noticeable. Both stanzas flow well, but I tend to get caught up in rhyme and then keep looking for the same scheme.

I like the way you ended this piece and the your general take on the prompt--different, for sure ;) Nice work! :+fav:
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
Hi John,

I can't thank you enough for the care and thought you put into commenting on my poems.

I'm pleased you liked this one :bow:
Reply
:iconcorvidae65:
Corvidae65 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
You're welcome Alec :highfive:
Reply
:iconyouinventedme:
YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009   Writer
the first stanza is particularly striking
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
Thanks very much Shane.
Reply
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009   Writer
"where
your corpse was lying neatly boxed.
Instead I dropped in my watch,
useless now that time had stopped."

haunting lines, graceful stature.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009
Thank you for such a succinct and gracious comment, Shane. I value your appreciation.
Reply
:iconpiscesandthediamonds:
Piscesandthediamonds Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:omfg: that last stanza kills me...(no pun intended) seriously though...wow... :heart:
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009
Hello Natalie!

:heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconpiscesandthediamonds:
Piscesandthediamonds Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:D hurro!
Reply
:iconpickled-poppy:
Pickled-Poppy Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009  Student Writer
AbsitivlyPostivlely corking Alec!
I love the first Stanza.
My face blank as a headstone
that has yet to be inscribed.
They are such smashing lines.

Another really lovely bit of poetry Alec
:heart: it lots.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009
Hello Megan, good to hear from you.

I'm pleased you liked the poem.

:bow: :heart:
Reply
:iconpickled-poppy:
Pickled-Poppy Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009  Student Writer
So how've you been :]
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
Keeping busy, sober more often than not.

Will you and Greg be in London for August 19th?
Reply
:iconpickled-poppy:
Pickled-Poppy Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009  Student Writer
Hopefully yes :]
Any chance of you making it down to Cardif on July 11th?

Busy is lovely, Sober is also lovely C:
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
It's not looking hopeful :(
Reply
:iconpickled-poppy:
Pickled-Poppy Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009  Student Writer
Oh vell, see you in August then C:
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
I'll be looking forward to it.
Reply
:icondwk61:
dwk61 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009
Superb Alec!
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2009
Thanks very much, Darragh.
Reply
:icondwk61:
dwk61 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
:icongdjobplz:
Reply
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