Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
There was a terrible event in the North-West of the city just days ago, in the small hours of last Sunday morning. The two girls were not drunk, but they were happy. They had spent an emotional evening celebrating the elder's birthday. They were on the main road, heading for a cab office nearby. They paid no heed to the dark sedan that was approaching them slowly.

The first thing anybody knew about what was going on,  was when two deafening percussions assailed their ears. Immediately there was a mighty roar of acceleration. The sedan thundered into the night. The elder girl was prone on the sidewalk, her life blown away. You can imagine how a brief paralysis of shock gave way to a panicked bedlam, soon augmented by the converging klaxons of the first responders,  medics, armed policemen.

As they woke, the city's sleeping denizens learned of this atrocity, and of the detective's first conclusion, that the dead girl was  killed by “mistake”; those bullets were intended for another. Leave aside the first thought, that was was some anonymous woman out there in the city who was lucky to be alive. We cannot know if she had been nearby, if she had seen another felled by a destiny that was meant for her.

I struggle to capture the cosmic enormity of such an “accident”, which stained a sidewalk with innocent blood, bringing to an end a blameless world.

Look, she was on our hit-list. OK, we didn't get her, and now they're all muttering against me.
Nobody said, hey, it could happen to anyone. She was supposed to be there, it was all supposed to be smooth. I was worried that I was having to rely on an ancient weapon, unsilenced. Just one chance, then we had to be gone. We roared away up the main road, before we turned into  one of the local estates where we had another waiting.  We shunted the sedan into one of the deserted lock-up garages. We shifted ourselves into some kind of small, anonymous hatchback, and drove away like we were a bunch day-tripping pensioners.

We were still high on a job well done. No one had any inkling yet that we'd killed a dummy. You just don't that's all. Before anyone in the gang knew it, our shadow world was flooded with light We had done the job just right “drive by bye bye”. Everything right, except the target.

We just made targets of ourselves.
It could happen to you.
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2014-02-04
Wrong Place, Wrong Time by AlecBell ( Suggested by Trippy4U and Featured by neurotype )
:iconthedarkenedbride:
TheDarkenedBride Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
the DD for this piece was well deserved :iconclapplz: 
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014
Thanks very much!
Reply
:iconthedarkenedbride:
TheDarkenedBride Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
anytime :)
Reply
:iconlaurotica:
laurotica Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014   Writer
Absolutely amazing work, and you deserve that DD.  With the second paragraph it takes one turn, and then another near the end, all well making use of some beautiful language and telling such a vivid and haunting story, and at such a short length too.  Be proud of this one :clap:
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
:iconbowplz: A very generous comment, thank you :bow::bow:
Reply
:iconlaurotica:
laurotica Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014   Writer
You're welcome :highfive:
Reply
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014   Writer
Interesting dueling viewpoint, Alec. And congrats on the feature!

btw, did you mean "paid no heed"?
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
Thanks for picking up the typo Shane, I've weeded it out. Many thanks too for your congratulations :nod:
Reply
:iconaryiea:
Aryiea Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
Congratulations on the DD :D
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
Thank you very much :heart:
Reply
:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on the Daily Deviation! :clap:
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
:thanks::bow: Thank you :bow::thanks:
Reply
:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
:heart:
Reply
:iconitsukiart:
Itsukiart Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I hated it, and all who complain that its against rules to hate it. fuck you, who ever write that rule should be send back to school, because that person clearly doesnt know what kind of rules are for reason and what kind of rules are just pure idiocy, and this kind of rule is pure idiocy.
Reply
:icontrippy4u:
Trippy4U Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
Hating it is your right. As for who should go back to school for a refresher course...well I'd say re-read what you just wrote :lol:
Reply
:iconitsukiart:
Itsukiart Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you are not even able to understand how little I care.
Reply
:icontrippy4u:
Trippy4U Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
No, I do...its obvious :lol:
Reply
:iconitsukiart:
Itsukiart Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
good for you. now get fucking far away from me.
Reply
:icontrippy4u:
Trippy4U Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
Aww...Pat pat 
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
Thanks, Richard. A strange person, this one.
Reply
:icontrippy4u:
Trippy4U Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014
:lol: Yea a bit...takes all kinds to make the world interesting :ahoy:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsteampunk-blooper:
Steampunk-Blooper Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The rule is that you can't complain about it earning a DD. So you're not breaking any rules.
People just tend to get their noses caught where they don't belong and take things the wrong ay a lot.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
I believe that is the rule. Comment is supposed to focus on the strengths and weaknesses of the work!
Reply
:iconitsukiart:
Itsukiart Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
in that case most of the complains that I get about those things are just crap. also I think I have been blocked from here 2 times with out reason. especially if the other person hasn't been blocked.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
Not quite following you, but if you hate it that's OK.
Reply
:icondarkacey:
DarkAcey Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Don't let any haters get you down. He/she has no right to curse and complain here. I enjoyed this piece, and I hope you will always continue writing. 
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
Thanks very much. I'm unlikely to stop!
Reply
:iconitsukiart:
Itsukiart Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yes I do hate it
Reply
:iconworld-of-zekira:
world-of-zekira Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
Have you just never read any fiction?
Reply
:iconitsukiart:
Itsukiart Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yes, but shit is always shit.
Reply
:iconworld-of-zekira:
world-of-zekira Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
So your grasp of how to give a critique, is also shit.

If you personally had problems with it, say so. What exactly was it about this piece that you believe makes it 'shit'? What could make it better? In what sort of ways does it fail to be good fiction or even good prose? Because I'm trying to imagine the faulty world of yours which has a shiny generic "it's shit" button that dumps out words.

This is not one of those pieces. It's clearly got more going on based on the commentary, there are characters involved and this is only one of likely many chapters. We've been dropped into the middle of a scenario and something went, as the title proclaims, wrong.

The grammar is excellent. There are no obvious or overt errors. The tense and tone are interesting and where there are tense / view issues it's because the view has shifted and that is obvious by just reading it.

So, I would love to know what specifically you think makes this piece less than good fiction. Compare it to something you DO believe is not shit? Obviously you're a troll, but just in case anyone else is reading your comment, I'd love to see you actually mount a real, actual critique. I strongly suspect you can't.
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
Thank you for your support :love:
Reply
:iconworld-of-zekira:
world-of-zekira Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
No problem at all.

Well now I'm curious about the whole world this has taken place in, lol - every perspective is different, on my other account I've got a fanfic lumping up Half Life and Fear, and the oddest people have become the protagonists, so... yeah, "the right man in the wrong place" ;)
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
This guy seems very sad to me.He also seems to have left the site.
Reply
:iconworld-of-zekira:
world-of-zekira Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
Or been banned again, I'm sure they'll be back though. Ah well.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconitsukiart:
Itsukiart Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
it clearly doesnt have middle part. it jumps around more than that bad guy from old zelda cartoo series. sure can be blamed that we are middle of something. but when something is happening there. all the sudden we are here with out any kind of warning or buildup. its annoying to read that kind of text when wondering that there is something clearly missing from the middle. 
Reply
:iconworld-of-zekira:
world-of-zekira Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
For people with a brain and literacy going for them, those things don't exist and aren't a problem.

If you are, as you seem, one of those people that need to have their hand held through every single little bit of story telling, perhaps you might consider not coming to an art site which features thought provoking literature like this.

What you call "annoying" is also known as "perspective switch". Think before you post. You're clearly unable to comprehend basic English literature concepts. If you can't follow a basic thought experiment like this, maybe... pay more attention in literature class. I'm positive this happens in non-English literature too, so whatever native language you might be from, try reading more.

Or just... keep reading twilight. But definitely consider that maybe, instead of it being shit, *you didn't understand it*.

Try harder. Use your brain before posting mush like you have.
Reply
:iconitsukiart:
Itsukiart Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
fuck you asshole!!!
Reply
:iconworld-of-zekira:
world-of-zekira Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
lol! Nice!

Because being unable to express yourself in a concise manner is impossible, resort to that!

Look - I don't have any issue with you not liking a piece. But when all you say is "it's shit" and then give no compelling reasons why it could possibly be 'bad', reasons which for all intelligent readers show that it's your lack of comprehension to blame, *that* is what is wrong here.

Learn how to critique if nothing more.

And most importantly: learn that "I don't like it" does not in any way mean "it's bad". You can dislike something BECAUSE it's bad, but the mere fact that you don't comprehend something, doesn't inherently make that thing bad.

I don't like a lot of the fetish art on Deviantart. Some of it is very well made, nicely photographed, and set up with a lot of care. That doesn't mean I like it being here, nor that I approve of its content or meaning. But at the very least, if I'm going to criticize something and call it shit - it better actually be worth calling shitty. Without at least *trying* to comprehend why you don't like something, your opinion is... well, shit.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcorvidae65:
Corvidae65 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014

:clap:  Shoot first, ask questions later or the 'spray and pray' shooting method rarely turns out well.  I hope the rotten old sots gets what's coming to them! :shakefist::icontatataplz:


:lol:  Well written, Alec!  Congratulations on the well deserved DD, my friend! :winner:

Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
Too true, John/ Thanks for your thanks:
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :party:
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
Thanks very much!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure! :heart:
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014
:love:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
:clap: Congratulations, Alec!
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014
:love: Thank you very much :love:
Reply
:iconmagbhitu:
magbhitu Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014
tis madness. excellent exercise in multiple levels of empathy Alec. ps. thanks for all the support
Reply
:iconalecbell:
AlecBell Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014
Thank you John. And you're very welcome :nod:
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconalecbell: More from AlecBell


Featured in Collections

Remarkable Reads by Nichrysalis

Poetry Literature by TruthisTruth

words of beauty by TheDarkenedBride


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
January 12, 2014
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,787
Favourites
83 (who?)
Comments
73
×